Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Little Man's Story

I am a second child so I know what it is like to compete for attention. My goal is to make it so that Little Man gets everything Punka has gotten. I don't want any "they did this for her but not for me" when he grows up. So it is only fair to right up his story.

DH and I have always wanted kids. Not just one but plural. Although now that we are at 2 children, one of each sex, I think we are pretty content. Due to our problems getting pregnant with Punka we went back to Yale RE and Fertility when we decided to try for our second pregnancy.
December of 2008 we completed the necessary blood work and started on Gonal F. The first week of January I got an urgent call from my endocrinologist. I was having a thyroid attack and would need to stop fertility treatments. My TSH at the time was in the 170's. For those who are not familiar with Thyroid Synthesizing Hormone levels the ideal is between 0.5 and 2. So being almost 200 was a great concern. We came off from the fertility treatment and started Thyroid treatment with blood work every week until my TSH count returned to normal. This included an ultrasound. The ultrasound verified that I had a disorder called Hashimotos thyroiditis. Big name but nothing serious if treated with daily synthroid medication. Once on medication my TSH levels came down and no permanent damage was caused to my thyroid. Great news of course!! By the end of March DH and I were given the OK to continue Gonal F.
March was unsuccessful in creating a mature follicle - provera was given to induce a menstrual cycle and on to April. The Doctor increased my daily dose of Gonal F, this month we were successful in creating a mature follicle but was not successful in conceiving. Then May came along which yielded a positive pregnancy test!! YAY we were pregnant again!. We at last would have our second child. Our starting Beta Level was 75 which was low but it was a positive result. Our second beta level was 150 - it doubled and that what it was suppose to do. Everything was looking up - DH and I were already looking at names.
But our happiness would soon end.
The next test would yield a drop in my beta level to 101. The doctor said to remain cautiously optimistic, that sometimes levels do drop. That following weekend I suffered from severe cramps and eventually a large blood loss. The doctor apologized and said that I had miscarried.

A devastating blow. An ultrasound showed that the pregnancy was indeed over at 6 weeks 3 days. The doctors called it a biochemical pregnancy. The baby's organs never developed. Well the doctor did not call it a baby - he actually explained that it was never a baby just deformed tissue. I don't know if that was suppose to make it all better but it didn't. How can you tell a woman that there was a baby say it never existed?? How much sense does that make?? No, to me it was a pregnancy - I don't care how long it lasted! That was a baby - I carried it for 6 weeks!!! I made a place for it in my heart. Talk science all you want - but this pregnancy was a baby, one who was loved and will always be.

After that our fertility specialist recommended that we take a month to "grieve" and for my body to adjust. DH and I took 2 months. In August we decided it was time again.

August actually yielded 2 cycles of medication. The first cycle produced no mature follicles. The second cycle of 10 days produced 1 mature follicle. The doctor prepared us for more disappointment. We told the doctor that if it did not happen this time that we were going to take another break - financially and emotionally we were shot. We proceeded with the cycle but held little hope for success. To the point where I did not even take a pregnancy test when instructed. I just went about my life as it was before fertility treatments.

So when the middle of September came and Aunt Flo never veered her head I called the doctor. I was sure that I would need a provera shot. Imagine the surprise when we found out that the one follicle took!! It took!! It stuck and held on tight. We were pregnant again!! We tried to contain our excitement. We actually asked our family to not let people know - that if it ended in another miscarriage we did not want to go through the sympathies again.

8 weeks of ultrasounds and another twin scare showed that we had a healthy singleton pregnancy.

Like Punka the pregnancy was very easy for the first half, (other then a sciatica injury - although we are not quite sure if it was pregnancy related or not.) This time I was diagnosed early with Gestational diabetes and diet control was unsuccessful. I ended up having to take a medication to control my glucose levels. The pregnancy progressed as normal other then that one issue.

And then my 24 week ultrasound showed an irregularity in the Amniotic Fluid count and the size of Little Man's kidney. But we kept our head up and moved on. We went in for another ultrasound at 28 weeks - again my amniotic fluid was high and again Little Man's kidneys were enlarged. Then 32 weeks we went in for another ultrasound and this is really when things became complicated.

At the 32 week ultrasound we discovered that I had a condition called Polyhydrominos or too much amniotic fluid and that Little Man had a condition called hydronephrosis or a swelling of the kidney. Both issues were something to worry about. They would continue monitoring my fluid and I was to start NSTs twice a week. When the Little Man was born he would have ultrasounds and diagnostic testing for his kidneys and possibly need to be put on antibiotics.

Shortly after the ultrasound I started having contractions. At first I thought they were severe Braxton Hicks. Other then my one contraction with Punka, I had never really experienced contractions. So I thought nothing of it and continued on my daily routines. I had NST a few days after the contractions started and I was told I was actually having true contractions and I was now a candidate for Pre-term labor.

So on and on went the testing for one week and everything was moving along as it should. After those 2 weeks my contractions started getting more severe and closer together. Daily activity was becoming strenuous and sleep was none existent. I was in and out of the hospital on doctors orders every other day and it started to feel like the longest pregnancy ever.

On Friday April 23rd I experienced intense contractions about 1 minute apart. The doctor checked my cervix in the morning and I was 2CM dilated and 70% effaced. He told my husband to keep 911 on speed dial because he didn't think I would make it through the weekend. I called the doctor again that afternoon - begging him to check me again. So into the doctors I went. I was still 2CM and 70%. The constant contractions were too much for me to handle. They were not painful but rather completely nagging.

The doctor asked if I would want to be induced in the next week if an amniocentesis came out positive for lung development. "YES" I exclaimed. Enough was enough for me. The amnio was scheduled for Tues April 27th and if the test was positive I would be admitted into the hospital for induction at 9pm. The test was positive. However, I was not admitted.

The OB suggested that I call ahead to the hospital before I went in. When I called they did not have a room for me so they suggested I call back at 10p. Ugh... This pregnancy was definitely not going as planned!! At the 10p call they told me to come into the hospital. We arrived a the hospital at 10:30p and my cervix was checked at 11:30p. I was 3CM dilated and 90% effaced and Little Man was at 2 station. I would definitely not need the cervical ripening agent. They decided to start me on Pitocin at 1a Wed morning. At 5am I was 5CM and completely effaced, at 6am I had not progressed so at 7:30a the OB decided to break my water. Little Man was born at 8:30a that morning. We now had our second miracle!!!

Little Man had to stay in the hospital a little longer then normal for severe jaundice but other then that we had our perfect little boy. 6lbs 14 oz, 18" long.

That is the miracle of our Little Man.


  1. Aww, I have enjoyed reading your journey! I'm so sorry for your loss. We miscarried our first baby, and I don't care how early it is, if you know you're pregnant, it's a baby. Some people don't understand that, but unless it's happened to you, don't brush off anyone else's miscarriage... (ok, off my soapbox!)

    What a journey you've had. Your kids definitely can't say that they weren't wanted. :)

  2. Marliena - thank you for reading. No need to come off a soapbox!! I feel the same way. A baby is a baby!

    Thank you for reading. And I do enjoy both my VERY planned kiddos :)