My Ultimate Crush

So I bet you are all wondering what I will talk about today. My wide range of topics I just can not wait to talk about!! But I told you about my kids so I think it only fair to talk about my ultimate crush.


DH and I actually met on a UMO chat room. Funny huh?? I was visiting a friend of mine up at the campus. he had marching band practice and it was raining out so I logged on to the campus chat site - in all actuality looking for a party to go to that night. I know the safest thing I ever thought of.


Anyway, DH and I started talking. He of course was heading out of town but was having a party the next following weekend. I chatted with him for a while but it wasn't really any fun. After all I was 20 and wanted to party!! But I was polite and gave him my ICQ number. Does ICQ even exist anymore??


DH started to message me on ICQ and before long we were weeks talking on the instant messenger and the phone. He seemed like a really great guy. He invited me up to a party that a few of his friends were having. I travelled the 3 hrs up to the campus - anything was better then laying around my parents house. Imagine DH's surprise when I actually showed up.



Of course he was still in class at the time - bummer - so I waited in my car. First his roommate showed up - thank goodness it wasn't him!!! Not that CM wasn't attractive - he was actually most girls dream - but he was on a "crotch rocket" which is a huge turn off for me!! (If only I knew he was going to be a big shot Harvard Doctor someday!!)


Anyway, DH and I didn't really hit it off when we first met face to face. I was the live free and happy type with really no responsibilities and he was the all serious student belonging to the all boys club. I mean me - dating a guy who played golf every chance he got, wore collared shirts and actually studied. My parents dream but wasn't exactly my scene. Nor I his to tell you the truth - some girl ready to party, smelling of tobacco and sporting a tattoo. We weren't exactly compatible.



DH took me out for Chinese and to a UMaine Hockey game. This was back when the team was unbeatable. I actually had a great time!! After the game DH's college buddies were throwing a party. There was always a "my" type at any party and it didn't take long for me to dump DH and give a stranger a ride back to campus. I think I sat in front of the guys dorm for an hour or so talking about just about everything. I don't even remember the guys name much less what he looked like. After I dropped him off I tried to get off campus. Do you know how easy it is to get lost on a small campus when your eyes are deep red and bloodshot?? Needless to say I was as paranoid as they came. Especially, when the cop pulled out in back of me. Thank goodness shortly after I found the exit and the right one to were DH was living at the time.


So here I was with my beet red eyes and endless smile knocking on DH's door at 3a. But I couldn't really drive home at that point and I needed to find a place to sleep and DH seemed like a pretty responsible guy. After like an hour of listening to his Best Friend telling DH I was not worth it I decided to crash on the floor in DH's living room. I stole the blanket from some guy who was sleeping on the couch - kicked the beer bottles off the side and slept really good on the floor. See the great thing about smoking rather then drinking is the next day you have no lasting effects of the night before so I was out the door before anyone woke up.


The whole ride home I was really starting to feel bad about how I had treated DH. Then a few days of him not calling or messaging me made me feel even worse. So I made the first move and called him to apologize for my behavior. I invited him down to visit me the next following weekend, he said "maybe". I was pretty sure he would not travel down - but I had said my peace so whatever.


But he actually showed up. Said he was having a little tiff with one of his roommates and had nothing better to do. We spent the whole weekend together talking and enjoying each others company. He was fabulous - very understanding and very attentive. Now girls love it when they are pampered - and that's what he was doing. Treating me like I was a goddess. I think I loved him then - but if I didn't I certainly had a major crush!!


DH learned quickly over the months how much I enjoyed being a "kid" (even though I would turn 21 at the end of the year). I partied with him and his friends every weekend, traveled back home in order to work come Monday morning. It was all worth it.


Now DH had 3 roommates - we will call them Pretty Boy (CM I mentioned earlier), Vitamin Junky (he really was) and Shady (someone I would consider "my people"). I loved them all - they were so different from one another it was funny - but they had all been friends throughout High School and now college. How is it that boys can be good friends with people who are so unlike them?? Girls can not do that!! We need people we have a lot in common with, people who experience the same things - but guys they can be friends with Joe Schmoe off the street. Weird.


I had so many great times that year with DH and roommates.


One night I decided to surprise him and show up and make dinner. LOL - sorry I really do have to laugh. I was making pasta with red sauce. I left the room to have a cigarette down in the basement (Shady's domain) and when I got back to the kitchen it was all red. Seriously, ALLLLL Red. the sauce had essentially boiled and exploded all over the house. DH walked in when I was up on the counter top wiping red sauce off the cabinets. He didn't get mad though - he laughed and he helped me clean it up. Needless to say we ate out that night!!


Then there was the night I just had to have that cigarette so I went down to the basement, the only place you could smoke in the house, also Shady's domain. To tell you the truth I was soo drunk at that point I had no idea how I managed getting down there. After my cigarette I decided I was too loopy to maneuver myself back to DH's room, so I just crawled in bed with Shady. I fell asleep. I think it took like an hour before DH realized I hadn't come back. I can only imagine what he thought when he came downstairs and saw me in bed with his roommate.


There were lots of afternoons wasted playing pool with Pretty Boy - I think he liked the fact I never hit on him. Like I said - not really into the pretty boy thing.


By the end of the fall semester DH's roommates were treating me like one of the guys. DH was treating me like a goddess. Spoiling me with affection at every corner.

We were definitely not your typical match. But I think we were a strong one. He mellowed my party girl ways and I helped him relax a little and live life.


That was all in 1999. We were married in 2002. DH and I are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary today May 26th!

Happy anniversary to my ultimate crush! I love you with all my heart! :' )

Living with PCOS in HS

So it would be unreal for me to write a novel all at once about my battle with this less then silent condition. But I can write chapters.

I was diagnosed with PCOS in 1993. I was 14 years old. To give the girls who know of this condition and its history back then it was just starting to be known as PCOD - Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease. We know now that the condition is not a disease but a syndrome. A very confusing distinction which is this, as I understand it: a disease is a condition in which may be life threatening, a syndrome is not life threatening in itself but may be a catalyst to some diseases.

There is controversial studies on what causes PCOS. Whether it is hereditary or a condition imposed upon the body by hormone inefficiencies. I'm not a scientist I really can't debate.

So this post is really about how PCOS effected my high school life. Bare with me this is a long time ago. But it was the start of how I would learn to deal with PCOS on a daily basis and how my attitude would change as I became more comfortable with myself and my symptoms.

The first symptom I had was very frequent menstrual cycles with severe and heavy cramping and bleeding. I used to beg my parents to let me stay home from school. The only position I was comfortable in was the fetal position with heat on my back. Back when I was first exhibiting these symptoms there was little known about the condition and the fact is my parents just did not understand. They can not be blamed - they just did not know.

So here I was going into the already pressure filled social environment of high school in complete pain. I must have been a joy!! Actually, I can tell you that I was not a joy to be around at all. Living with extreme pain makes it very hard to pay attention, to develop relationships and to keep a "cool" head. But the pain would not be my only problem caused by this condition.

Shortly after the pain began I had the joy of experiencing severe mood swings. Baring a temper that was very hard to control. I imagine it must have been hard to be friends with someone who one minute was sweet and understanding and the next minute baring teeth so sharp that running was the only option. The tears - I was able to keep those to myself most of the time. Finding a space behind stairs or in a closet - or eventually my car in the parking lot.

It was hard to find friends - much less friends that understood. Looking back now I realize that it was not that people didn't want to be my friend, it was that it was just too hard to be a friend to someone whose attitude was so harsh most of the time. An evil kid - it must have seemed like I was an evil evil girl.

Then the worse thing that can happen to a HS girl happened. I began to gain weight. Now do not let me disillusion you, I have always been a big girl but in HS I was becoming enormous - or at least in my eyes. I had significant weight gain anyhow. To give you an idea: when I started HS I was a size 8 when I graduated HS I was between a 16 and 18.

Lose weight, lose weight, lose weight. It's what my parents said, it's what my classmates said and more important it was what my doctors said. This did really well for the self esteem. But the truth of the matter is I was not eating any worse then any other of my classmates. And in most cases did not eat at all because of the weight gain. I walked for hours, even started going to the weight room available at the HS I attended after hours. But the weight continued to pack on.

Shortly after, I began to grow hair, where I definitely did not want it. It began to grow on my chin, on my belly, becoming more thick on my arms and legs. In a teenage girls mind I was becoming a monster. Now let me first say that I am writing this from a teenage girl's view which are always a bit over exaggerated. But the truth be told it is how I felt. I started going for the 2 week waxing sessions and still had to shave on the off time.

Then my menstrual cycles started to become infrequent. I would maybe have one every 4 months - but they would last close to 3 weeks. The GYN decided to put me on birth control at that point. Remember those mood swings I was experiencing?? Well times them by 10. That is what happened when I was put on BCP. During HS I was put on 4 different BCP and all of them I had adverse reactions to.

This was the most depressing time in my life. High School girls always have self confidence issues, I don't care how confident they act. There is always that self esteem issue lingering. It's what makes them part of this group or that. I have only met a few girls who have been true to themselves throughout there life. I was not one of those. Who I was in HS - that person no longer exists. I learned through my complicated HS life and for that I am thankful.

Things have definitely changed for me, friends have changed, moods have changed, happiness level have changed. I can be true to myself. I can deal with PCOS on a whole other level. PCOS doesn't make me anymore - I have grown to be above it.

Yes, it is still there. I am reminded on every blood work result, the pills I take every morning to control it, the hard time I had getting pregnant with my kiddos. But it no longer defines me. And in a sense it has made me stronger. I can live with this. I can control it. PCOS may always be part of me but it will never define me again.

If you believe you or one of your loved ones has PCOS please visit:

http://www.pcosupport.org/index.php

http://www.soulcysters.com/

Precious

I am learning to type one handed. I am not all that good at it, nor am I living up to my typing speed. Funny how the knowledge of something you become so adept at changes when the use of one extremity is taken away.



I am not complaining at all; for the reason I am learning to type one handed is the reason I am the happiest woman in the world! I look quickly down at the most precious site a Mom can see, her sweet baby curled up sleeping in her caring embrace.



He is the reason why I do not mind typing one handed, doing dishes one handed, pouring a glass of water one handed. This little man that I hold so close to my heart - my own "Precious".

Bag Lady

Sometimes I wonder why Mom's were not gifted with 4, 5, maybe even 6 arms. I mean seriously how do we handle it all?? I made 3 trips to the car just so that I could visit a friend for the day with my 2 kids. Do we really need all this stuff?? The answer of course is yes!! What would I have done without the 2 changes of clothes that Punka used, or the 3 pacifiers Little Man threw on the ground?

To go out takes at least an hour! I pack my purse and the large diaper bag, shower, dress and then dress 2 screaming children. Don't get me started on the screaming that carries on when its time to dawn the sunscreen!!

Do people look at me strange as I carry my overfilled bag and 2 kids? I imagine I look like a bag lady. Oh how I wish I had the 4, 5 or 6 arms. That would make my life so much easier.

What do these Mom's who have 3+ kids do? If I was them I would seriously think about becoming a hobbit!! If I ever have a #3 please make me revisit this post!

If you see me on the street carrying all my bags please do not judge - I really am trying to be a good Mom.

Little Man's Story

I am a second child so I know what it is like to compete for attention. My goal is to make it so that Little Man gets everything Punka has gotten. I don't want any "they did this for her but not for me" when he grows up. So it is only fair to right up his story.

DH and I have always wanted kids. Not just one but plural. Although now that we are at 2 children, one of each sex, I think we are pretty content. Due to our problems getting pregnant with Punka we went back to Yale RE and Fertility when we decided to try for our second pregnancy.

December of 2008 we completed the necessary blood work and started on Gonal F. The first week of January I got an urgent call from my endocrinologist. I was having a thyroid attack and would need to stop fertility treatments. My TSH at the time was in the 170's. For those who are not familiar with Thyroid Synthesizing Hormone levels the ideal is between 0.5 and 2. So being almost 200 was a great concern. We came off from the fertility treatment and started Thyroid treatment with blood work every week until my TSH count returned to normal. This included an ultrasound. The ultrasound verified that I had a disorder called Hashimotos thyroiditis. Big name but nothing serious if treated with daily synthroid medication. Once on medication my TSH levels came down and no permanent damage was caused to my thyroid. Great news of course!! By the end of March DH and I were given the OK to continue Gonal F.

March was unsuccessful in creating a mature follicle - provera was given to induce a menstrual cycle and on to April. The Doctor increased my daily dose of Gonal F, this month we were successful in creating a mature follicle but was not successful in conceiving. Then May came along which yielded a positive pregnancy test!! YAY we were pregnant again!. We at last would have our second child. Our starting Beta Level was 75 which was low but it was a positive result. Our second beta level was 150 - it doubled and that what it was suppose to do. Everything was looking up - DH and I were already looking at names.

But our happiness would soon end.

The next test would yield a drop in my beta level to 101. The doctor said to remain cautiously optimistic, that sometimes levels do drop. That following weekend I suffered from severe cramps and eventually a large blood loss. The doctor apologized and said that I had miscarried.

A devastating blow. An ultrasound showed that the pregnancy was indeed over at 6 weeks 3 days. The doctors called it a biochemical pregnancy. The baby's organs never developed. Well the doctor did not call it a baby - he actually explained that it was never a baby just deformed tissue. I don't know if that was suppose to make it all better but it didn't. How can you tell a woman that there was a baby say it never existed?? How much sense does that make?? No, to me it was a pregnancy - I don't care how long it lasted! That was a baby - I carried it for 6 weeks!!! I made a place for it in my heart. Talk science all you want - but this pregnancy was a baby, one who was loved and will always be.

After that our fertility specialist recommended that we take a month to "grieve" and for my body to adjust. DH and I took 2 months. In August we decided it was time again.

August actually yielded 2 cycles of medication. The first cycle produced no mature follicles. The second cycle of 10 days produced 1 mature follicle. The doctor prepared us for more disappointment. We told the doctor that if it did not happen this time that we were going to take another break - financially and emotionally we were shot. We proceeded with the cycle but held little hope for success. To the point where I did not even take a pregnancy test when instructed. I just went about my life as it was before fertility treatments.

So when the middle of September came and Aunt Flo never veered her head I called the doctor. I was sure that I would need a provera shot. Imagine the surprise when we found out that the one follicle took!! It took!! It stuck and held on tight. We were pregnant again!! We tried to contain our excitement. We actually asked our family to not let people know - that if it ended in another miscarriage we did not want to go through the sympathies again.

8 weeks of ultrasounds and another twin scare showed that we had a healthy singleton pregnancy.

Like Punka the pregnancy was very easy for the first half, (other then a sciatica injury - although we are not quite sure if it was pregnancy related or not.) This time I was diagnosed early with Gestational diabetes and diet control was unsuccessful. I ended up having to take a medication to control my glucose levels. The pregnancy progressed as normal other then that one issue.

And then my 24 week ultrasound showed an irregularity in the Amniotic Fluid count and the size of Little Man's kidney. But we kept our head up and moved on. We went in for another ultrasound at 28 weeks - again my amniotic fluid was high and again Little Man's kidneys were enlarged. Then 32 weeks we went in for another ultrasound and this is really when things became complicated.

At the 32 week ultrasound we discovered that I had a condition called Polyhydrominos or too much amniotic fluid and that Little Man had a condition called hydronephrosis or a swelling of the kidney. Both issues were something to worry about. They would continue monitoring my fluid and I was to start NSTs twice a week. When the Little Man was born he would have ultrasounds and diagnostic testing for his kidneys and possibly need to be put on antibiotics.

Shortly after the ultrasound I started having contractions. At first I thought they were severe Braxton Hicks. Other then my one contraction with Punka, I had never really experienced contractions. So I thought nothing of it and continued on my daily routines. I had NST a few days after the contractions started and I was told I was actually having true contractions and I was now a candidate for Pre-term labor.

So on and on went the testing for one week and everything was moving along as it should. After those 2 weeks my contractions started getting more severe and closer together. Daily activity was becoming strenuous and sleep was none existent. I was in and out of the hospital on doctors orders every other day and it started to feel like the longest pregnancy ever.

On Friday April 23rd I experienced intense contractions about 1 minute apart. The doctor checked my cervix in the morning and I was 2CM dilated and 70% effaced. He told my husband to keep 911 on speed dial because he didn't think I would make it through the weekend. I called the doctor again that afternoon - begging him to check me again. So into the doctors I went. I was still 2CM and 70%. The constant contractions were too much for me to handle. They were not painful but rather completely nagging.

The doctor asked if I would want to be induced in the next week if an amniocentesis came out positive for lung development. "YES" I exclaimed. Enough was enough for me. The amnio was scheduled for Tues April 27th and if the test was positive I would be admitted into the hospital for induction at 9pm. The test was positive. However, I was not admitted.

The OB suggested that I call ahead to the hospital before I went in. When I called they did not have a room for me so they suggested I call back at 10p. Ugh... This pregnancy was definitely not going as planned!! At the 10p call they told me to come into the hospital. We arrived a the hospital at 10:30p and my cervix was checked at 11:30p. I was 3CM dilated and 90% effaced and Little Man was at 2 station. I would definitely not need the cervical ripening agent. They decided to start me on Pitocin at 1a Wed morning. At 5am I was 5CM and completely effaced, at 6am I had not progressed so at 7:30a the OB decided to break my water. Little Man was born at 8:30a that morning. We now had our second miracle!!!

Little Man had to stay in the hospital a little longer then normal for severe jaundice but other then that we had our perfect little boy. 6lbs 14 oz, 18" long.

That is the miracle of our Little Man.

Punka's Story

As Memories go they never really happen in chronicle order. But I figure if I am going to start talking about certain issues and my kiddos growth then I first must enlighten my readers with my children's stories.

My babies' stories actually all started when I was 14 but that is too long ago time to begin and a more involved story for later.

So lets start Punka's story from DH's and my wedding the Sunday before Memorial Day in 2002. I guess that really is when Punka's story begins.

DH and I had always dreamed that we would have kids right after we married. Although we knew it would be a hard battle I don't think we were really ready for what we would experience in trying to conceive our first born.

We lived in Maine at the time and I had a great OB/GYN who knew a lot about PCOS but as we learned later just not enough about how severe my condition was. After a few months of trying to get pregnant on our own I finally asked my OB/GYN for help. He was not shy about putting me on Clomid and Metformin at the time I met with him. The next year of trying to conceive yielded monthly doctor's visits, endless prevara shots and mood swings that could have easily ruined my new marriage. But DH stuck with me - through all the hard times - even when fertility was not our only worry. We continued the therapy - every day taking the pills and every month not yielding an ovulation. After being on the largest dose of Clomid recommended by the FDA, I pleaded for my doctor to help me with another route.

In October of 2003 I underwent a laproscopic procedure call Ovarian Drilling. Essentially the surgeon goes in with a laser and drills holes into my ovaries. The goal is to release the pressure from the cysts and create more room inside the ovaries. While the doctor was performing the drilling he noticed that I had a large amount of fatty tissue build up on my cervix called Endometreosis.

3 months after the surgery I was still not ovulating. So my OB/GYN put me back on Clomid. And we started the past year all over again. After yet another year with no response to the drugs DH and I decided to take a break for a month or so.

This is where most stories end right?? You always hear about the couples who are trying to conceive and when they finally take time to themselves BOOM they are pregnant. well that is not our story.

During our break from fertility treatments my DH received a job offer from a company whose plant was outside of Hartford, CT. The job was a God send so we moved.

Sept of 2006 I met with a fertility specialist at Yale Reproductive Endocrinology and Fertility Center in New Haven, CT. The RE had concentrated on treating women with Endometreoisis and PCOS. He put me on the largest dose of Metformin and ran some blood work and urine cultures, including a migration analysis for my DH. It was determined that my DH's boys were plenty and good swimmers (he was soo happy to hear! an male ego thing I think). So now we concentrate again on getting me to ovulate.

The Dr recommended a follitropin alpha injection called Gonal F to make me create mature follicles which is what he determined was the main cause of me not ovulating. 1 week went by with no success in follicle production, so he upped my dose - another week went by again with no follicle in sight so he upped my dose again. 4 weeks and 300IU a day of Gonal F and my follicle count started going up. By the end of November I had 4 mature follicles and so the Dr was giving me the speech about multiple births. I didn't care at this point - "just get me pregnant - I'll birth infinite babies if I have to" - I know irrational thought but for those who have ever experienced fertility problems this is a common reaction. The doctor prescribed another injection called Ovidrel . This is a gonadotropin (r-hCG) injection which is the hormone that releases follicles from the ovaries creating an ovulation. A hormone that I did not create on my own. A few days later DH and I were cleared to "enjoy" ourselves.

First week of December we went in for a pregnancy test and was ecstatic to find out that the medication worked. I had a starting Beta level of 250. Three days later the doctors pulled another beta level - it was 2300. Woe!! Hold up!! That is a huge jump. A successful beta level would have doubled or tripled at that point in time. My level had done that plus some. So my doctor and nurses warned me again about multiple births. Just by the numbers they were guessing at least twins if not triplets. So they rushed me in for an ultrasound.

And that ultrasound was the best thing I had seen in my life!! There was my little Punka. Just a little tiny bean - not even recognizable as human. And it was just her! The doctors continued to screen me by ultrasound for the next month b/c my beta levels were so high. By the end of month one beta was 1,025,000 (for single pregnancy they would have looked for approx 68,000). My theory is that Punka just wanted us to know that she was there to stay!

The first half of my pregnancy was incredible. I was so happy; my DH was so happy; Our family was so happy!! It finally happened for us.

Because of the insulin issues that accompany PCOS I was treated like I had gestational diabetes and was strictly diet controlled. But I never ended up with glucose issues which was a Godsend all on it's own. But that would not be the only pregnancy related issue they would watch me for.

April came around and my parents decided to fly us down to Disney for the week to celebrate my older brother turning 30. Disney YAY!! Or so you would think. And although I smiled and had a great time, I ended up in some horrible pain and discomfort. After the first day I ended up in a wheelchair and my brother and DH wheeled me around the resorts. Happy 30th dear brother - and for your gift you get to push your 24 week pregnant sister all around Disney!!

When I got home it was an immediate visit to the OB, where DH and I learned that I had developed PreEclampsia (Pregnancy induced hypertension). I was massive - retaining a large amount of fluid - with edema in my legs and feet so bad that I could not walk. So from 24 weeks on I was in the hospital twice a week for NST monitoring, blood work and protein cultures. The doctors assured me all was going well and as long as I stayed resting (laying down on my left side - 24/7) that I may be able to make it to 32 weeks. Well I showed them!! I made it to 38 weeks before my blood pressure jumped above 100. And at that point no decision was mine - I was being induced.

Because I was not dilated at all, induction took forever. I was given cervadril - a 12 hr cervix ripening agent which did its job to get me to 2CM dilated. Then the pitocin started. 12hrs later I was still only 2CM dilated and no sign of going into labor. The OB decided to give me stadol to help me relax and sleep. This was a nasty drug for me - causing confusion, and I felt like I was in 2 parallel world - one was reality and one was a world that resembled reality. It was very scary. Anyway, the doctor came in and explained that once the stadol wore off they would have me go eat and shower and come back to start again. I agreed and back to lala land I went.

I awoke from the stadol craziness and immediately went into labor. My water broke within seconds of my one and only contraction starting and 47 minutes and a 4 degree episiodomy later Punka was here. My little Rocket!! 7lbs 5oz, 21" long and pure perfection!

So this is Punka's Birth Story, 5 years in the making!

The Juggle

Now that my MIL and my Mom have gone home I find I am now alone fighting the battle of infant vs toddler. My toddler demands the attention; my infant demands the attention; and for some reason that is unknown to me it all happens at the same time. I can not lie my patience is wearing a bit thin between the sleepless nights and the early mornings. Little Man's endless crying and Punka's puppy whining (yes whining, like a little dog).

Yesterday I lost the juggle.

Little Man was awake most of the night with gas and Punka awoke with a 24 hr stomach bug. I had my hands full to say the least and it was the second time I have found myself in tears since my Little Man came home. 5:20a I gave up the fight and called in reinforcements. My loving Dad traveled the 4 hour trip to give me sanctuary. A sanctuary that was well needed.

I just have to remember that each day and each night will bring something new. For instance Little Man slept 6 hours for me last night, Punka slept 12hrs and now today they are both napping at the same time. A brief breath before the constant activity of the afternoon begins.

This is Me

There are so many questions you ask yourself before you start a blog; do I really have something to say? Will anyone really want to read about me, my experiences, my thoughts? The truth is I just do not know. But I know I have a lot to share and for anyone who knows me and knows me well I can talk up a storm and I do not hide a thing.

So as intro to my blog site let me tell you who I am and what I have to share.

I am a 31 year old Stay at home Mom to 2 beautiful Children.

My oldest is 33 months, or for those who dislike it when parents talk in months - 33 months equates to just over 2 1/2 years. She is a beautiful girl and we call her Punka - its not her true name, could you imagine if it was? My poor child... But that's my endearment for her. Punka is entering that phase in life where she thinks she is the boss - she has learned to ignore what she does not want to hear and throw those terrible fits when you say "No". But she is also at the age where she sings and dances, gives hugs and kisses freely and makes you feel like you are the most important person in the world.

My youngest is very very young. As of today Little Man is 2 weeks and 5 days. I am in the land of sleepless nights and constant feedings. Children only stay this small for the shortest amount of time and I am hoping that I can live it up and take advantage of the constant warmth of baby, his constant need of Mommy and his sweet baby smell.

The man of my dreams is the most supportive, caring and loving man you will ever meet. He is also the biggest complainer I know and one of the most impatient persons I have the pleasure of loving. But he is indeed the man of my dreams and I could not live a full life without him. He really is my rock.

So what can you expect from this blog site?? Well a lot of talk about my Darling Husband (DH) and my adorable kids I am sure. But I really want this blog to contain my experiences. Who Am I?? That's what this blog is about. How did I become me? What did I experience? What am I experiencing now? What does my future hold?

Welcome to This is Me.