Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Expressive Language Disorder

I have a brilliant child!! Of course I am a mother who brags!! What kind of mom would I be if I didn't?! Punka was completing 12pc puzzles in under 3 minutes before she was two so why wouldn't I brag???

I am not one of those parents who look for anything that might be wrong with their child - in fact I am the opposite - I fear it. So when Punka's language never developed I kept making the excuse that she was just concentrating on other things. Like puzzles and blocks and riding her bike. She was so good at fine motor skills I thought that it was just the way she learned. But when she turned 2 1/2 and I saw how hard of a time she was having communicating with other children, I opened my eyes. Then when the hearing test came back normal - I had to start admitting there was a problem.

My daughter should of had a vocabulary of 400+ words and she had maybe 40. At 2 1/2 years old my daughter could not say her own name correctly, and in most cases refused to say her name at all. I could no longer say "she may not talk but she can play twinkle, twinkle on her xylophone" anymore. This language issue was effecting her social development.

I am talking in past but the truth of the matter is that it is present. Punka is amazing in so many ways, she is definitely my drama queen, my musician and my independent little monster. So when Birth 2 Three came in and evaluated her and stated that she was definitely lagging in speech but she was excelling in Cognitive abilities above and beyond her age group I was not at all surprised. She did not qualify for the program. I should be glad right??

The speech therapist that evaluated her responded in kind but advised me that Punka did have a severe delay in language and to check with my insurance if Speech therapy is covered. I sought out our pediatrician, who stated that the report was definitely conclusive of a language disorder and sent us for evaluation by a speech pathologist.

Punka was diagnosed with Expressive Language Disorder on May 25th of this year. The Speech Pathologist also believes that she may have an underlying speech delay. Punka ranked in the 5% for expressive language in her age group. (on a side note she ranked in the 90% for cognitive ability - see... mother bragging!!) Our goal now is to find her the therapies that work best so that she can catch up a little bit before school starts.

What is Expressive Language Disorder?? This is how I understand it - there is Receptive Language which is the ability to understand what others are saying and Expressive which is being able to say what you want to say. It seems like the words just get lost before she is able to say them. Punka perfers to use motions for language rather then words because of this loss in translation from the part of the brain that wants the word to the part of the brain that holds the word. In other terms (and as I understand it) she knows what to say and the meaning of what to say but she can not find the word to say it. Does that make sense??

So here starts our journey with this disorder; Punka's first step is speech therapy and our first step is trying to "unlearn" her physical cues. I do not know what is going to be harder - her learning - or ours.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Back Up and Running

Can you believe it has been 3 weeks since I last posted?? I really need to get back into my old routine. I miss my little online diary.

I have had good reason for being away, my friends. My life has been a little bit of a crisis lately. Drama Queen, I know, but as crisis' go I have been having one. My back and not being able to go home because of it is a big drag!! Then to have a allergic reactions to the pain killers that were keeping the pain sedated enough just was over the edge!! Crisis!!

But the thing I miss the most is being able to run in and out of the pool with Punka and being able to carry Little Man around in my sling. I miss those little things that make me "Mom".

Yes, I am still Mom; but I am on a little hiatus in responsibility. Grammy, Nana, Mema (Punka calls her More Nana) and Papa - the reinforcements - have been called in. They all have to take shifts because my children exhaust them. I think my children are actually really well behaved - imagine if they were not!!

I guess sometimes it just takes a Mom to be able to wake up everyday at 5a with your (almost) 3 year old and to go to bed every night at midnight with your 2 month old and never think it is unusually or too exhausting that you just can not do it one more day. No, there is never that option. So you keep busy, you make friends, you take your kids to the park just for a little sanity from the chaos of being a Mom.

As I sit in my "cripple" chair and look at my rolling walker and crutches - I reminisce only because I truly do miss it. I miss being Mom. Being everything my kids depend on. I look newly at my complaints and think, "wow wouldn't I love getting back there".

Those 2 little squirts turning my mother's house inside out are the best things that have ever existed in my eyes - and I will welcome the chaos with open arms!! When I am back up and running.

Saturday, June 5, 2010


Ok so being away from my kiddos is killing me. This is day 5 in the hospital with just quick visits from my kids. It's hard to have a 34mth old and 5 week old in the hospital for long.

Punka called me in tears this morning because she misses me. DH was able to calm her down but it was enough for me to be in endless tears, and they still have not stopped. I just wish I could hold her and assure that Mama is coming home soon. But I can not because she is not here and now I'm shattered.

Little Man has not slept a night since I got admitted. And my milk supply is diminishing from not having the closeness with him. I am missing needed bonding time with him. He should not be to far from me. I feel torn.

I need my kiddos and I am thinking they need me too.

Its amazing how connected moms are to their children. How bruised Moms get when their children are hurt or crying or sad.

This separation is killing me.............

My heart is in pieces.

Thursday, June 3, 2010


Why does it take so long for Joe to talk to Mary?? In a world when everything is computerized it is funny how things still do not get communicated. Recently I was put in the hospital - well I am actually still there. the Case Manager who is pretty much the person who oversees discharge and patient accounts has tried to discharge me twice when my doctor has no intention of me leaving. That is really weird to deal with the discharge lady who is telling you things that your doctor is not.

Anyway, they have no idea what is going on with me. I came in for back pain and not being able to move. They still have not sent me to x-ray or MRI yet. However, when my pulse dropped they had every heart monitoring device in here with in minutes. Weird...

I am hoping I am on my way to at least a diagnosis. We will see..

But for now I just get to hang out in the hospital